It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
