I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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