But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
