living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
