How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
