i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
