its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
