So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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