I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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