u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
