Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Someone shattered a urinal.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
