Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
kristin has been a bad kristin
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
