ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize