he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize