What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
