My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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