I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
