i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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