he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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