capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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