He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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