Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
