just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
