If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
