I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
