So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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