he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
