Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We are two peas in an std pod
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
