i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
