Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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