Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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