And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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