Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
