Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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