Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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