and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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