walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
What a dumb baby whore.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You were trust falling into bushes
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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