he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
