I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
