I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She's like a pop up book from hell.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
