And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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