She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
