Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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