worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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