when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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