Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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