This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
