And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Ladies don't puke and tell
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
