This is not my ceiling
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
