in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
