it wasn't lemon gatorade
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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