she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
