Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
