the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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