I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
The maid of honor just puked.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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