god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Pooping to opera.
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