I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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