Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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