i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize