im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
