Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize