i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
