My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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